Jack Deal's Articles in Humor - Major Articles

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It's a Pig Thing: My Very Strange and Ongoing Relationship with Pigs A pig is a pig whether free range or otherwise. Bonding with a pig is like bonding with barbecue. Why Non-Dairy Creamer is the Greatest Marketing Coup of All Time Non-dairy creamer proves that humans can fake themselves out with just about anything. How to Get Free Food by Effectively Using the Halftime Exit Strategy By focusing on the silly needs of others we can often reap unexpected benefits. 'The Dating Manual for Old Marrieds' is a Cognitive Behavioral Engineering Helpdesk Old married couples are now going out on dates in order to put some excitement back in their marriage. Just how this is role played seems to be key to a successful cogntitive behavioral outcome. The Two Marble Stress Reduction Therapy Plan or 'What Me Worry'? Chinese worry balls work but neuroscientists don't know why. Marbles are much more portable and have been shown to be just as effective. The Dynamics and Finer Points of Sleeping in a Yucatecan Hammock When on the Yucatan peninsula, try sleeping in a locally made hammock. Where is that Mycroft Holmes When We Really Need Him? Even Sherlock Holmes needed a good hint every now and then, right? My Secret Life as a Sheep Farmer or Never Say Never Never, never say never... 'Criminal' Treesitters Winning War of Nerves Against Weenie UCSC Administrators Those that can, administer companies and businesses. Those that can't, adminsiter colleges and universities. Amoebic Dysentery: Nature's Foolproof Crash Diet Plan for the New Emaciated Look We go to such crazy extremes to lose a little weight, why not try dysentery, a tried and true method? My Secret Life as a Junk Man or My New Cognitive Behavioral Materialism Therapy Wallow in your stuff to gradually wean yourself from it. After a while you won't want to go to the mall anymore. Yes Virginia, There is an Allegorical, Metaphorical, and Culturally Neutered Santa Claus Santa has adapted well to the 21st Century. Those that don't believe he exists don't even wish he did. How sad. I'd Rather Be an Ugly Mexican than an Unhappy, Stupid, Silly Argentinean Argentine reporter Jorge Lafauci was recorded during a TV show saying that Mexicans are the ugliest and the only pretty ones are on TV. Lafauci upholds a longstanding tradition of Argentines making silly, stupid statments. Intelligent Design and Natural Intelligence Are Two Peas in the Same Old Pod If it can't be tested and exists only on faith it is not science. Why not say 'it's not science' and move on? Boycott Chinese and Buy Mexican Better to buy from friends and neighbors than from those that poison us and even their own. UCSC Treesitting Protesters Barking Up Some Really, Really Big Redwood Trees If your son or daughter were protesting 150 up on redwood tree limb should you demand they transfer to Texas A&M? 2008 Election Proving Once Again the USA is the Greatest Nation in the Entire Universe Once again we prove our advanced democratic system is aces and helps us keep our status as the best nation in the Universe. How Your Collective Thinking is Destroying Your Mind, Career, Personal Life and Hippocampus Those that think like sheep become sheep. There is no Security with Shaking Ground, Mad Shoplifters and Thieving Families We can never totally isolate ourselves from evil,risk, threat and bad things in general. Rather than worry about it we should get out and about and enjoy life and not be obsessed with creating a no risk environment. Besides, there is no such animal. Lessons in Life We Can Learn from Ugly Women with Big Tattoos It's true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but sometimes deflecting focus away from ugliness actually makes one relatively prettier. Welcome to California National Park! When California runs out of water, we can make it into one heck of a national park. Don't forget to bring your water bottles... Go Ahead, I Dare Ya! Google My Name! When I was a kid we used to dare, double dare and then double dog dare. Nobody googled. My Breast Sizes are Just Fine for Now, Thank You and Besides I'm a Man Marketers are pure scum. Here is an instance of snake oil sleazebags trying to capitalize on citizen's patriotism. How Loneliness, Faulty Logic and Convenience Destroyed Three Super Brains Even the smartest among us can veer off path and end up going down a path of utter stupidity. Yes, Virginia, the World is Full of Jerks... Jerks are everywhere and a diverse bunch at that. Why are jerks so irritating? Three Good and True Rat Stories We can never have too many good rat stories. By nature, rats elicit a human response that is both unpredictable and at times entertaining.